Let me tell you a quick story about that time change was a good thing.
About two years ago, I had a heart to heart with my husband. One typical, exasperated, busy momma day, I exclaimed, “If I’m not seeing a difference in my blogging within a year, I’m ditching this whole thing!” The gaunlet had been thown down.
This happened around two o’clock, at the end of another tear-filled homeschooling day where I may or may not have screamed at my precious boys. Still in my pajamas with my hair knotted on top of my head, wearing yesterday’s makeup. Teeth were gnashed and smoke was bellowing from my nostrils. I was I sight to behold!
All I wanted to do was make time for what I wanted to do. I was so sick of only having time to do what I needed to do. In that moment teeming with selfishness, I knew if I put qualifiers on myself, that I would buckle down, prioritize and master my editorial calendar and become a blogging success.
Then it happened. Life.
Only a few months after my brazen proclamation, in order for all my spinning plates to not come crashing down around me, I had to let the blogging platter fall. I thought for sure it was the Lord letting me know that this door was closing. It was a season of focus on us as a family, on me as a wife and mother, and on Him as my Savior. But I was wrong in thinking this chapter of my life was over. How many times have we mistaken the Lord’s direction, thinking that we have any capacity to know His will for us?
It was 8 months later that the blogging door began opening again. In February, I shared all about my hiatus and how I was learning to deal with anxiety issues. I was trying to step into a space of grace for myself (and still am). In that process of letting go of ownership of the stuff in my life, wonderful things started happening. Blogging opportunities began coming to me that had never happened before – sponsorships, features, and collaborations, causing me to rethink this entire blogging business.
So what was different? What was the magic formula?
We are called to renew our minds and to not be conformed by the patterns of this world. Phew – that is not an easy thing for me.
I don’t like change. I mean, reaaaaallly, don’t like change.
I’ve made my to do list, I’ve lined up my plan for the day. From what I’m wearing to what I’m eating. If a bump in the road comes along, my whole day veers off course. I have an inner conniption fit, hurrying to reline up the rest of my day.
But life is like that, isn’t it? When we don’t get our way, we are challenged. That inner conniption fit suddenly becomes an outer one. Failing at the ‘adulting’ game, you try not to lose all your marbles. Overwhelmed so quickly, the ugly rears it’s head and not-so-nice-things may get said in the heat of the moment.
But, and aren’t we all thankful for that three letter word? But, by changing how I perceived and understood my circumstances, I stopped letting myself get in the way. I allowed the doors to open in the appropriately appointed time. I reluctantly relinquished my false ownership over to Him, again and again.
Time mends all things. Hugs and I’m sorry’s are given and normalcy becomes reestablished. Just like that, all the marbles are back in their pretty little dish. If you’re in the midst of change, here’s a helping of grace for you, weary one, that things will fall back into place eventually.
Even if the normal is a new adventure and not what you planned, the chaos will dissipate. Even when that time change was a good thing.
It’s all about finding beauty in the blemishes.